July 2010
13 posts
4 tags
WatchIf the Shirley Sherrod story made you sad for the state of the nation, it should help to know that Fox News fabricates a lot of information. So in reality, plenty of sad things in Fox News’ corner of the media aren’t sad at all! Nor are they real.
Watch this if you’re in need of a pick-me-up, courtesy of Rachel Maddow.
1 tag
Sadly, this is not a joke.
Remember when surprise South Carolina Senate candidate Alvin Greene said the government ought to stimulate the economy by selling action figures of…Alvin Greene? Apparently his…creative…way of thinking is contagious.
On Saturday, the minor league baseball Charleston RiverDogs plan to hand out “Mr. Lady Liberty” Statue of Liberty figurines with Greene’s face on...
3 tags
To make or not to make a John Boehner tanning...
The legislative branch has finally decided financial reform might be a good idea. But don’t worry, there are plenty of dissenters to provide cute/embarassing/irrelevant quotes.
Financial Reform Opponent #1: House Minority Leader John Boehner
This morning, before the Senate even voted on the Wall Street reform bill, Boehner advised, “I think it ought to be repealed.”...
1 tag
Coming soon to a summer reading list near you!
Sarah Palin’s enthralling life story will soon hit bookshelves (again). The Christian book publisher Zondervan will honor Palin with an admiring biography for young readers, specifically 9-to-12-year-olds.
Sources tell us Palin is stoked about discovering the previously untapped resources known as young children, but even more thrilled that someone is finally writing a book at her...
1 tag
Irony is lost on Republicans.
This past weekend, Rep. Michele Bachmann spoke at a far-right conference in Colorado. She asserted that the Obama administration is “turning our country into a nation of slaves.” (Is that a black joke?) She then added a very out-of-context quote by founding father John Jay: “…we are resolved that posterity shall never reproach us with having brought slaves into the...
1 tag
America, thou art so holy.
“We have a President, perhaps for the very first time since the founding of our republic, who doesn’t appear to believe that America is the greatest earthly force for good the world has ever known.” -Sarah Palin’s Facebook note (6/30/2010)
Errrrr…take that, Jesus!
-J.L.
3 tags
Calm down, kids.
A Democracy Corps poll shows that 55% of voters watch too much Fox News. Actually, it shows that 55% of voters believe the word “socialist” describes President Obama “well” or “very well.” Honestly, the only way this poll could hold water is if the follow-up question were, “What exactly is socialism?”
-J.L.
3 tags
The Spy Who...Wasn't...Really...a Spy...
The conclusion of the Russian “spy” debacle finally came today, with a New York judge ordering the immediate deportation of the 10 suspects. Unfortunately for their fellow PTA members, this decision forces them to acknowledge that they will no longer have advance notice about rival elementary schools’ bake sales.
And yet somehow, even with the United States’ apparent knack...
3 tags
Palin's nearly unBearable video
Sarah Palin’s political action committee (SarahPAC) released a video touting “common sense conservative women.” She added that conservative women remind her of bears who “rise up on their hind legs when somebody’s coming to attack their cubs.” She of course refers to them as “mama grizzlies,” because “moms kind of just know when...
6 tags
Follow-up: Omg, it's like history, or whatever.
Talking Points Memo did us all a favor by enrolling at Beck University and taking some notes on the first lecture, “Faith 101.” Right-wing historian David Barton spoke for half an hour about how separation of church and state is essentially a big lie. Apparently the Declaration of Independence is secretly a list of sermons, and America’s founders (despite historical evidence to...
2 tags
Alvin Greene's own personal Toy Story
Alvin Greene, the ever-confusing South Carolina Democratic nominee for Senate, has offered up yet another noteworthy statement, this time to the Guardian.
“Another thing we can do for jobs is make toys of me, especially for the holidays. Little dolls. Me. Like maybe little action dolls. Me in an army uniform, air force uniform, and me in my suit. They can make toys of me and my vehicle,...
2 tags
Bro, what? (Glenn Beck University edition)
Believe it or not, Bob Jones University may have a new rival when it comes to right-wing, faith-based, post-secondary education. Glenn Beck kicks off “Beck University” tomorrow evening. Via online classes, three professors will teach “Faith 101,” “Hope 101,” and “Charity 101.” But the academics don’t stop there! In the following weeks, the...
7 tags
Some advice after a long hiatus.
1. If you earn $6.1 billion in pure profit from oil drilling, try upping the $0 you spend on researching how to clean up a spill.
2. If you’re the chairman of the Republican National Committee, don’t be Michael Steele.
4. If you’re Michael Steele, don’t take weird ”old-guy-trying-to-be-young-and-hip” photos with your interns. (http://tinyurl.com/33yj3jc)
4. If you’re J.D. Hayworth, stop pretending...
October 2009
8 posts
Breaking news
The big news today was that President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.
Of equal significance was that conservatives found something to complain about that was almost as petty as the Olympics.
Finally, it should be noted that the President has scheduled a press conference at which he will apologize profusely to the American people for this massive inconvenience. His speech will reportedly...
Secret Lives of the Presidents (NY Times) →
So, here’s the question:
If politicians (especially presidents) were more honest with their views, would this be good for the American people or bad for our attempt at separating private lives from policy decisions?
-J.L.
The Higher Lifetime Costs of Being a Gay Couple... →
“In the past, hosting the Olympics has been a source of pride and unity for the...”
– The White House blog
Sometimes, the White House just needs to do some good ol’ fashion calling out.
September 2009
3 posts
Today's 7 pieces of advice.
1) If you go off on a nonsensical tirade on national television that culminates in the burning/drowning/boiling death of an amphibious creature, don’t expect to keep your job. Unless you work for Fox News.
2) If you want to sue Bank of America, don’t demand “1,784 billion trillion dollars.” No, really.
3) If you hear Iran has a nuclear facility, don’t pretend to be...
South Carolina, I think you need a day off.
I think it’s safe to say Texas Republicans are winning the “Aw, aren’t they just precious with their crazy little ideas?” race, with their ever-present need to cry secession.
Fortunately, for comedy’s sake, South Carolina isn’t too far behind. Joe “You Lie!” Wilson, do you really need to bring more negative attention to a state that’s already governed by Mark Sanford?
-J.L.
Oh...oh no.
According to new reports, gypsy minorities have been the targets of increased violence recently. Originating in Hungary and spreading to surrounding countries of Eastern Europe, many gypsies blame right-wing groups for the acts of violence occurring.
As one spokesman for Jobbik, the most prevalent Hungarian right-wing party stated, “These killings were done so professionally, that it...
August 2009
30 posts
Recovering from the disaster within the same...
President Obama pledged today to speed up the recovery process for New Orleans and those affected by Hurricane Katrina. He vowed to avoid “turf wars” and has freed up hundreds of millions of undistributed dollars to be used.
Well….I guess four years later would, in fact, be an appropriate time to get the advancement process started.
-J.L.
Cnn.com: Can Bill Gates stop hurricanes?...
I think the only appropriate response here is “Bro, what?”
http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/science/08/28/hurricanes.gates.gray/index.html
-J.L.
I'm sorry, can you repeat that?
U.S. Rep. Lynn Jenkins recently stated at a Kansas gathering that the GOP needed a “great white hope” to defeat President Obama’s agenda. Rep. Jenkins apologized today to anyone was offended but saw no negative connotation in her words.
I, too, see nothing negative about a phrase that stems from the 1900s, regarding a search for a white boxer who could defeat the...
Ben Bernanke's Fight to the Death.
Obama will be nominating Ben Bernanke for a 2nd term as Chairman of the Federal Reserve. Obama praised Bernanke for leading the country through the financial crisis with “bold action” and “outside-the-box thinking.” For which Bernanke was exceedingly grateful, because he’s only keeping such a terrible job to beat Greenspan’s record.
-Sera
Is Palin running out of things to "do and...
Rumors are circulating around the internet(s) that Sarah Palin is planning on moving from her beloved Alaska to the suburbs of Rhode Island. The Christian Science Monitor quoted Rhode Island Republican Party Chairman Giovanni Cicione as saying, “Anyone who wants to move to Rhode Island, we would have to question their sanity.”
The jab to his own state is interesting, but I think...
A not-so-new issue.
Former Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge claims Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and Attorney General John Ashcroft pressured him to raise the terrorism threat level shortly before Bush’s reelection. Critics are now outraged that the government would dare use terrorism as a political tool.
…wait a second…
-J.L.
“We have been in contact with the Scottish government, indicating that we...”
– President Barack Obama, on release of Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi, convicted for playing a role in the Pan Am bombing over Lockerbie, Scotland in 1988.
Barney Frank has officially delivered a...
Yes, the incessant hate speech and anti-Obama propaganda continue to plague the health care “debates.” We fortunately have some comic relief (and common sense) on display, thanks to Rep. Barney Frank, the Democrat from Massachusetts. At Frank’s town hall, a constituent asked him why he was supporting President Obama’s “Nazi policy” of health care. In response, Frank asked, “On what planet do you...
Ready for a real shocker?! Yeah, I'm appalled by...
According to recent news reports, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says that he will be appointing two women to his cabinet, the first such appointments since the 1979 Islamic Revolution.
But before we all die of terror over the prospect of Iran possibly becoming somewhat reasonable, Ahmadinejad allays our fears by informing us that both women are hardline conservatives.
So, uh, thanks...
And away we go.
American John Yettaw was finally released from Burma after successful negotiations on the part of US Senator Jim Webb. Yettaw had been convicted by Myannmar authorities for his trips to the imprisoned pro-democracy leader, Aung San Suu Kyi, in 2008 and 2009. Upon his release, Senator Webb stated that in regards to his medical state, Yettaw was “not a well man.”
Yeah, I think we...
Change put on hold.
President Obama recently acknowledged that immigration reform would have to wait until 2010. During the campaign, he considered it to be one of his main priorities and sought to deal with the issue within the first year of his presidency. However, the reluctance of certain groups to prevent health care reform has made health care his main (and very overwhelming) battle.
It’s ok, Mr. President, I’m...
Excited for Cheney's memoir? Anyone?
Dear Mr. Former Vice President,
If President Bush gradually started ignoring your advice during his second term, there was probably a reason. How’s that for an assessment?
Sincerely,
J.L.
“Twelve percent of North Carolina’s self-identified conservatives...”
– Rachel Maddow, TRMS (8.13.09)
It’s ok, Chuck Norris probably doesn’t either.
-J.L.
"Are you like a...crazy person?"
At a town hall in his home state of Iowa, Senator Chuck Grassley opted to perpetuate the “death panel” myth, rather than provide his constituents with facts. He told them they “have every right to fear” the end-of-life counseling that would supposedly allow the government to “pull the plug on grandma.”
Well yes, you do in fact have the right to fear. Unfortunately, having the right to do so...
Democracy at its finest.
By now, we’re all aware of the disruption, disrespect, and violence that anti-health reform groups have incited. The stories of Congressmen being threatened and shouted at during town hall meetings continue to make news. In Arizona, one fellow managed to one-up the rest of the anti-reformers.
Aides for Democratic Rep. Gabrielle Giffords of Arizona had to call the police after an attendee...
WatchWe made a perfectly necessary video of ourselves.
The resignations have yet to cease.
Republican Senator Mel Martinez of Florida will resign his post as soon as a replacement can be appointed, citing “personal reasons” for his departure.
Apparently Martinez felt, as a Republican, that he had to even things out after Sonia Sotomayor’s confirmation yesterday just put too many Hispanics in higher offices.
-J.L.
Nothing beats a good 'ole terrorist six feet...
According to recent published reports, Pakistani Taliban head Baitullah Meshud “may be dead.” So to everyone who thought they’d been hearing reports of various “Taliban heads” perishing in the on-going regional conflicts, the REAL one might have died yesterday. Just a heads up.
Pun!
-Sera
Well I'm shocked.
The American Psychological Association officially says health professionals should not tell gays that therapy can turn them straight.
Also in the news today, the APA is debating whether blacks can change their race by closing their eyes really tightly, crossing their fingers, and repeating the phrase, “I wish I were white” three times.
-J.L.
Like stealing candy from a baby.
German officials made a shocking discovery today after the arrest of a Thai woman on drug smuggling charges last week in Frankfurt. The woman, who was revealed to have been hiding 41 packets of cocaine in her stomach, (bro, what?) finally found out that she is, erm, with child.
Mazel tov! Your unborn child is officially the world’s youngest druglord.
-Sera
Operation: Keep America White
Secretary Clinton is in Kenya, assuring African nations that the U.S. is here to help.
And by “help,” I mean “search for and destroy little Kenyan babies who may one day try to falsely take over the United States and convert it into an industrialized African nation by lying about their birthplaces.”
-J.L.
Danger! Reform!
A CNN poll shows that younger Americans are more likely to support President Obama’s health care plan.
That’s probably because of certain groups claiming that his plan is to murder the elderly and force people to have sex changes.
-J.L.
Reality check.
During former President Clinton’s trip to North Korea, journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee were finally released from detainment.
That’s great and all, but it can’t be true. We all know brute force is the only way to get through to our enemies.
-J.L.