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Interesting facts about Sera: Fluent in English, German, and Turkish; loves Wednesdays

Interesting facts about J.L.: Likes polar bears; lives by the mantra "What would Rachel Maddow do?"; is not ashamed.

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If the Shirley Sherrod story made you sad for the state of the nation, it should help to know that Fox News fabricates a lot of information. So in reality, plenty of sad things in Fox News’ corner of the media aren’t sad at all! Nor are they real.

Watch this if you’re in need of a pick-me-up, courtesy of Rachel Maddow.

Sadly, this is not a joke.

Remember when surprise South Carolina Senate candidate Alvin Greene said the government ought to stimulate the economy by selling action figures of…Alvin Greene? Apparently his…creative…way of thinking is contagious.

On Saturday, the minor league baseball Charleston RiverDogs plan to hand out “Mr. Lady Liberty” Statue of Liberty figurines with Greene’s face on the front. They originally planned to hand out 1,000 mini male counterparts to the Statue of Liberty, in response to a proposal to build a Mr. Liberty on South Carolina’s coast (http://www.charlestonbusiness.com/news/32541-male-counterpart-to-statue-of-liberty-pitched-for-patriots-point). How did Alvin Greene come into the picture? The RiverDogs’ general manager explained that Greene epitomizes the American dream.

Well those mini statues are sure to stimulate the economy. I’m worried, though, that with only 1,000 being released, we may see an even wider economic gap, which could eventually lead to the downfall of our economy. Stranger things have happened…clearly.


To make or not to make a John Boehner tanning salon joke…

The legislative branch has finally decided financial reform might be a good idea. But don’t worry, there are plenty of dissenters to provide cute/embarassing/irrelevant quotes.

Financial Reform Opponent #1: House Minority Leader John Boehner

This morning, before the Senate even voted on the Wall Street reform bill, Boehner advised, “I think it ought to be repealed.” Instead, he offered this solution: “There are common sense things that we should do to plug the holes in the regulatory system that were there, and to bring more transparency to financial transactions. Because transparency is like sunlight, and sunlight is the best disinfectant.”

In that case, maybe we should pull back the curtains at the Capitol, because with people like Boehner in positions of power, I think Congress could use a good old fashioned disinfecting.


Coming soon to a summer reading list near you!

Sarah Palin’s enthralling life story will soon hit bookshelves (again). The Christian book publisher Zondervan will honor Palin with an admiring biography for young readers, specifically 9-to-12-year-olds.

Sources tell us Palin is stoked about discovering the previously untapped resources known as young children, but even more thrilled that someone is finally writing a book at her reading level.


Irony is lost on Republicans.

This past weekend, Rep. Michele Bachmann spoke at a far-right conference in Colorado. She asserted that the Obama administration is “turning our country into a nation of slaves.” (Is that a black joke?) She then added a very out-of-context quote by founding father John Jay: “…we are resolved that posterity shall never reproach us with having brought slaves into the world.”

Alright, that’s a lot to digest, but let me try to interpret what Ms. Bachmann is saying. For those of you keeping count, I think she’s implying that ”Michele Bachmann’s List of Things That Never Happened” now includes evolution, climate change, and…slavery? Ah well, it was hurting America’s image anyway.


America, thou art so holy.

"We have a President, perhaps for the very first time since the founding of our republic, who doesn’t appear to believe that America is the greatest earthly force for good the world has ever known." -Sarah Palin’s Facebook note (6/30/2010)

Errrrr…take that, Jesus!


Calm down, kids.

A Democracy Corps poll shows that 55% of voters watch too much Fox News. Actually, it shows that 55% of voters believe the word “socialist” describes President Obama “well” or “very well.” Honestly, the only way this poll could hold water is if the follow-up question were, “What exactly is socialism?”


The Spy Who…Wasn’t…Really…a Spy…

The conclusion of the Russian “spy” debacle finally came today, with a New York judge ordering the immediate deportation of the 10 suspects. Unfortunately for their fellow PTA members, this decision forces them to acknowledge that they will no longer have advance notice about rival elementary schools’ bake sales.

And yet somehow, even with the United States’ apparent knack for weeding out undesirables everywhere, Ann Coulter lives on.


Palin’s nearly unBearable video

Sarah Palin’s political action committee (SarahPAC) released a video touting “common sense conservative women.” She added that conservative women remind her of bears who “rise up on their hind legs when somebody’s coming to attack their cubs.” She of course refers to them as “mama grizzlies,” because “moms kind of just know when something’s wrong.”

Right. Well um, maybe they were in hibernation from 2001-2008.


Follow-up: Omg, it’s like history, or whatever.

Talking Points Memo did us all a favor by enrolling at Beck University and taking some notes on the first lecture, “Faith 101.” Right-wing historian David Barton spoke for half an hour about how separation of church and state is essentially a big lie. Apparently the Declaration of Independence is secretly a list of sermons, and America’s founders (despite historical evidence to support the contrary) actually wanted the church as an influential part of government. Thanks for clearing that up, Mr. Barton and Mr. Beck. And all this time I thought Thomas Jefferson meant something totally different when he said, “History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance of which their civil as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purposes.”

So kids, I think the real lesson here is Glenn Beck hates truth. But we can’t blame the guy; truth does tend to have a liberal bias.


Alvin Greene’s own personal Toy Story

Alvin Greene, the ever-confusing South Carolina Democratic nominee for Senate, has offered up yet another noteworthy statement, this time to the Guardian.

"Another thing we can do for jobs is make toys of me, especially for the holidays. Little dolls. Me. Like maybe little action dolls. Me in an army uniform, air force uniform, and me in my suit. They can make toys of me and my vehicle, especially for the holidays and Christmas for the kids. That’s something that would create jobs. So you see I think out of the box like that. It’s not something a typical person would bring up. That’s something that could happen, that makes sense. It’s not a joke."

Apparently Greene is determined not to let South Carolina Republicans upstage him in ridiculousness.

I don’t think “Bro, what?” accurately expresses how we feel about this one. I’m dubbing Greene’s latest statement a “Bro, wtf?” moment.


Bro, what? (Glenn Beck University edition)

Believe it or not, Bob Jones University may have a new rival when it comes to right-wing, faith-based, post-secondary education. Glenn Beck kicks off “Beck University” tomorrow evening. Via online classes, three professors will teach “Faith 101,” “Hope 101,” and “Charity 101.” But the academics don’t stop there! In the following weeks, the “university” (sorry, no actual credits provided) will offer 102 and 103 level classes. Only “Extreme Insiders” (who pay $9.95/month for premium content to Beck’s site) need apply. Beck’s new endeavor is somewhat surprising, considering he himself dropped out of real college after taking one course. I guess Beck University will give new meaning to a “BS” degree.

It also leaves plenty of room for potential mascot jokes! I’m thinking Jesus, wrapped in an American flag, holding a tea cup and a shotgun. On second thought, maybe even Glenn Beck isn’t self-righteous enough for that one.


Some advice after a long hiatus.

1. If you earn $6.1 billion in pure profit from oil drilling, try upping the $0 you spend on researching how to clean up a spill.

2. If you’re the chairman of the Republican National Committee, don’t be Michael Steele.

4. If you’re Michael Steele, don’t take weird ”old-guy-trying-to-be-young-and-hip” photos with your interns. (http://tinyurl.com/33yj3jc)

4. If you’re J.D. Hayworth, stop pretending your “get your government money now” infomercials were legit.

5. If you’re a member of the GOP, try having a scandal that doesn’t involve hookers.

6. If you’re the governor of Arizona, stop claiming illegal immigrants are on a decapitation spree.

7. If you’re one of the 26% of Americans who don’t know from which country the U.S. declared independence, don’t buy fireworks. Not only do you not deserve them, but you’ll probably hurt yourself.

8. If you’re a “Bro, What?” faithful, forgive us for our absence?

Notice the subtle sarcasm.

Notice the subtle sarcasm.